Beloved actress Kim Soo Mi died suddenly on October 25, leaving behind a diary with confessions of her emotional struggles in her final days. This diary was published on December 12. in a book titled “On All That Kill Me,” which has since been released to the public.
Kim passed away at age 75. In her last entries to her diary, Maeil Business Newspaper reported that she opened up about her fears and concerns over how her family would interpret her words.
She wrote, “I fear what awaits my family when this book becomes public.”
Yet, despite these fears, she received courage from her faith, saying, “I accepted the Lord and received courage.”
Its contents are published with the permission of the actress’s family, who have said they wish the world to read about the suffering Kim experienced in the final years of her life.
Royalties from the book will be donated to charity.
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Kim Soo Mi’s Last Entry on Her Diary Before Her Death and Final Wishes Revealed
Kim detailed the tension she was under in October and November 2023 over a disagreement with a brand over the use of her name.
“Every day is torture,” she wrote. “I can’t eat or sleep without sleeping pills to see what kind of repercussions the article will have.”
She also has broader feelings of anxiety and fear from a lawsuit involving her son, Chung Myung-ho, over embezzlement.
Later, Kim also had panic disorder. She said that no drug could take away that pain as she compared it to “like a grain of sand.”
She recalled her battles with anxiety and the overwhelming fear:
“On some days, pain disorder, suffocation. It was the worst time of my life.”
Her diary reflects Kim’s challenges, as well as her enthusiasm for acting and love for family.
“There will be a price if you risk your life to record, practice, play, and endure,” she said as she reflected on her career.
In her entries from years past, she professed her love for her daughter and wrote, “This mom will live hard for you.”
Kim Soo Mi later died at Seoul St. Mary’s Hospital after being found in cardiac arrest. Her death is said to have been due to long-term health problems as a result of diabetes.
On December 12, a memorial service was held in Yongin, Gyeonggi Province.
Kim’s posthumous work, The Ghost Police, which the veteran actress completed before her death, will be published in January 2025.
Kim Soo Mi’s diary, meanwhile, reportedly sheds light on her life—for its celebrations and struggles—as loved ones continue to recall memories of the star.
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